Friday, February 13, 2009

Where Have All the Women Gone?

I am young woman.
Full of hope for what God desires for me to fulfill as a wife and mother.
I often look into the faces of my children and wonder why God commands the young woman to stay home and raise our kids?
I don’t have a clue what I am doing other than learning from the mistakes I have made every day prior to this one.
I often struggle through my days hoping my children won’t pick up any of the selfish tendencies I have trouble breaking. At the same time the desire to be a wife and mother is as natural as anything else we do without giving too much thought to it. Then why does it have to be so hard? You would think something we so dearly long for would be a bit more natural than the desire itself.

But once again, ladies, the Lord has given us an escape to help pull us through the tough road of motherhood. They are the “Aged women” spoken about in Titus 2:3The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

That’s a big task and a lot of responsibility. If you read that passage prior to having a husband and children a second thought may not be given. But what of those of us who do? Who are struggling daily to be good wives and mothers, where do we turn? Of course God’s word is given to us in the form of the bible to be comfort to us but He has also given us You…aged woman…but where are you?

It seems to me not to many older woman I meet are anxious to correct me in areas such as how my intimacy, or lack thereof, will one day rear its ugly head and cause my marriage to suffer. Or how my deficiencies in patience with my children will cause unpleasant personality traits that may effect them throughout their whole life. Or how my gossiping about my neighbor will ruin my witness of Jesus’ light that is supposed to be shining through all my thoughts and actions. There are so many intimate details of a woman’s life, daily thought pattern, that are asked by God to correct us. Now this is no excuse for me to go about my business, uncorrected, but we don’t all have the voice of conviction breathing down our neck either.

If I could say this it would be Older Women where are you?
What are you thinking when you see a mother mistreat her children due to selfish immaturity? Or when you see a wife turn a cold shoulder to her dear husband in a secret desire to manipulate him? You must cringe at the sight. Besides you have been there. You have seen these hateful, selfish acts turn out dreadfully over and over again. You may feel you have no insight to share. But your lessons from lifelong mistakes are more helpful than you could ever imagine. The insight you could bring to stop a common mistake from recreating is priceless. Don’t underestimate what you hope you could bring to a young mother or what God has taught you through your own error.

To young mothers, as I am, don’t be so prideful.
We don’t know it all. Despite our upbringing, background and/or education; The spiritual things of God concerning raising Godly children in a Godly home within a Godly marriage is something we could never perfect with all the education this world could bring. But if we let down our prideful walls of selfishness we could let in the insight intended for our hearts and minds and bring us to be better mothers than we had so our children can be better mothers than we are.
If you are a mom you understand the inadequacies that I share with you. As long as we are on flesh on this earth we will struggle with this. But we don’t have to allow it to overcome us.

Look for a reason to allow the insight by an aged, Godly, woman to be shared with you if for no other reason than to be corrected in our ways.
Don’t get caught up in a downward spiral.
Stop it in its tracts by opening your heart to the Lord and the authority He has given to “aged” woman over us.


Laura said...

I've found a wealth of older women in my church. Their friendship is what I've been craving most of my adult life.

It's funny. My story is not that unusual, but I find myself in an unusual place. I was married at 22, and had a baby that same year, two more children followed in 5 years. THe marriage was a dead-end downward spiral from the start. I did everything I could to be a caring, submissive wife, putting their needs ahead of my own, while suffering under emotional abuse and rejection (except the intimacy part. I guess he wanted me around for that only). After discovering his adulterous relationships, I sought a divorce. Then God turned everything around for me. I met a man whose personal testimony matched my own. He'd been through the wringer as well, but had come out stronger in his faith, We were married, and the Lord gave us a beautiful boy two years later to complete our family. Together, we have 7 children. My four live at home, and his other 3 come for weekends.

I say this because I'm in a sort of limbo. I've been married in the last 5 years, so I fit in the newly married group. I have teenagers, my oldest is 16, And I'm close to 40, so I fit into the middle age group. I've been married a total of 17 years of my life, and I've seen and endured many different circum,stances, so you could almost look at me as one of the "older women," thought I tend to shy away form any position that would find me giving advice to the younger group.

I find young women can be flighty, and manipulation is their default M.O., in many cases. I can se the tendencies in my daughters. The younger married women in the church sometimes surprise me with their self-righteous whining. They must not see it for themselves. I do it too. Our lives are a daily struggle to cease the wrestle with God, like Jacob, and give Him the control. But the younger generation seems more determined than ever before to go their own way. Even the church has become infected with the emasculation of men, and men are falling for it.

SO where are they? I've found some in my church, but the answer is complex:
I think we're all suffering from the proliferation of worldly culture, into our homes, the church, and our relationships. With the divorce rate nearing 70%, even in the church, I think the older women are dealing with the dissolution of the family just like we are. We can turn the tide, though. Here's how I think we should do it:
1. If we get back to the Word, and honestly apply it, and lean on each other, we can become that three-fold cord in Ecclesiastes. The couple, the Lord and the church, just as the man, the woman, and the Lord are not easily broken.
2. We can submit ourselves to each other in Christian love, and not be offended when someone strikes a nerve in kind correction.
3. We can stop jumping from church to church to church, over minor offenses or what's laid out on the buffet table of church-y programs.
4. We can stand up for what is right -- for submission in love, and the Godly man leading his own household as he submits to Christ.
5. We can get back to worship, which is the primary responsibility of the church. The assembling of ourselves together for corporate worship will build up the church from within as we learn as flawed people how to love and deal with each other.
6. We can get back to real, honest, gritty preaching. The deep kind that puts a finger on something that needs to change, not the kind that is a mink glove and all warm and happy and wonderful. Unless we are challenged by the Word of God, we will never grow. Even the church has been emasculated in it's attempts to attract and grow it's numbers. Numbers are not the goal! The Word of God attracts those who should be there. We don't have to worry that the music is relevant, that the soccer team is winning, or that the choir loft is full. That's not the purose of the church.
7. We can pray for each other, for our pastors and their wives, for our husbands, and for the Word of God to be preached.

I earnestly pray that the church will come to it's senses. Unfortunately, for the most part, it has become a microcosm of the worldliness from which we need so desperately to be removed. said...

What a wonderful post...I can't believe I am now considered "one of those older women"...I have two sons 20 and 18 years old.

The Lord blessed me and allowed me to stay home and homeschool both boys through High School. I don't regret one moment of not having a "career" or my own life. it has been a honor watching those two boys turn in to Godly Young Men.

Hubby and I are now getting to spend some "time together"...learning to be a couple and looking forward to one day being grandparents.

I praise the LORD for those women God has brought into and through my life. During each stage there were amazing women of God to cheer me on and give wise coucil and sometimes just know approvingly.

bananaicecream said...

Great Blog

BOWquet said...

AWesome! Thank you for sharing. :)

Teri's Treasures said...

What a great post! Your post brought me back to reality and seeing things in a different light... along with Laura and Robin's comments, it makes you think. I do have a "older wiser woman" she is my Mom, she helps guide me down paths that God has sent me on... how blessed am I! Thank you for this post!

Laurie said...

I am on the etsy greetings team and came to this post because of your suggestion to look it over for marketing ideas, but I scrolled down and found this too.

I was a very career oriented woman and just took the step to stay at home motherhood for primarily financial reasons (daycare for 2 became more expensive than our house payment per month and my husband and I decided I was working to pay others to watch our children which seemed kind of ironic and dumb).

For about 1 1/2 years it was very difficult for me because I went from a place where I was praised everyday for my good works to a place where praise does not come.

I was in a car accident with my children and the car was destroyed but we were unharmed. I knew at that point God saved my life (and the life of my children). I struggled with the "why did he save me and what does he want me to do to serve him?" and came up with the answer, just what I had been doing with my children the past year and a half.

From that point on, I have been enjoying every minute (I have now been at home for 6 years) and hoping I am raising my children in a Godly way in this world that seems to be so un-Godly. I am very fortunate to be married to a Godly man to help me with is process too.

I have loved your work on etsy and am even more inspired by you now as a person!